Menu plan mayhem

Don't you love alliteration? I do.

Here is a link to my menu plan. It's a work in progress. Yes, I'm using a spreadsheet. If I can't put it in a spreadsheet, I can't do it. Let's hope the inverse is also true: If I can put it in a spreadsheet, I can do it. (Yes, I'm that person who loved taking the requisite logic course. I'm pretty sure my professor loved the class too, as he was high for every one of them. Groovy.)

My goals are to not have to grocery shop nor do major food prep during the week. Grocery shopping on the way home saps our energy. So, Sunday is shaping up to be pretty busy; but the cooking is the only thing I'm going to expect myself to accomplish that day. I will have to set aside my naps and mindless watching of anime. Next week I'll be able to do more on Saturday so that my Sunday can be restful.

Sauerkraut ist echt toll!

I've made my first foray into lacto-fermentation. I've made the sauerkraut according to the recipe in Nourishing Traditions. And natürlich, I took pictures.

1. Gathered the salt, whey*, and caraway seeds (which I did not know I had)
   
   
   
2. Prepared the cabbage for the food processor
   
   
3. Food processed
   
   
4. After 5 minutes of pounding with meat pounder. My arms and hands were very tired. I enlisted help.
   
   
5. After 10 minutes of pounding, now putting in the quart jar. I did not think enough liquid had been released during the pounding until I got it in the jar and pressed on it with the wooden spoon. Then I saw the juices get released.
   
   
6. I had to improvise in order to be able to pack the kraut into the jar so that liquid covered the top. The tea container was exactly the right size so I covered it in waxed paper and pressed away.
   
   
7. Here is the jar and here it will sit until Monday evening.
   
   

*My whey has some white cloudiness that kind of swirls in it. If anyone knows that this is a sign of bad and not-to-be-used whey, please let me know. It smelled just as I would expect whey to smell. Kind of like sour milk.

I married the right man

Here is a picture of the dinner he made for me and three of our friends last Friday. From the foreground to the background, baked macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, and Brussels sprouts made with bacon. You can't go wrong with bacon. Everything was delicious and our friends now like Brussels sprouts.

Planning to plan

Actually, I'm planning to clean, but I just like that title. It represents the inefficiencies that often occur in the corporate world. I think I got it from a Dilbert cartoon. Sometimes I think my life is a Dilbert cartoon.

Anyway, moving on...

Saturday afternoon I am hosting the first Meet-and-Greet for the North Austin chapter of the Weston A. Price Foundation. Meaning there will be people coming to my house. [panic ensues] I was originally going to take off work on Friday to deal with the disaster that is my home, but that's not going to work out so well. Now I'm spreading the cleaning out over the next few days. Here's the plan so far:

• Thursday evening: declutter and dust livingroom and diningroom
• Friday evening: clean kitchen and kitchen floor
• Saturday morning: vacuum, make the snacks and clean kitchen again
• Saturday afternoon: setup the table with a nice tablecloth and arrange the snacks; try to relax a little before people show up

That's the plan.

I did my situps this morning again. yeah for me!

Winter wonderland, sort of

When letting the dogs out this morning, I was very disappointed to see that the deck was just wet and not icy. We were predicted to have an ice storm over the night. This would mean working from home in my pajamas while drinking hot tea. Delightful! But, alas, the deck looked just wet. That is until the Bingo dog went sliding across half of it. After which she looked at me like "What just happened?".

So there was ice, but not enough to shut down the highways. I'm now in my office, in jeans and a sweater, drinking hot tea and working. Well, technically blogging at the moment.

The drive in made me love our new-to-us subaru even more than I already did. The seat warmers made me so toasty warm.

Two steps forward, one step back

Last night started off so well, like a shooting star, all bright and full of energy and potential. It also ended like a falling star, a fizzled out, cold rock. Husband and I went to our Co-Op and purchased food to cook meals for the rest of the week, two which we planned to cook that night. Husband likes to cook. He's gotten a hankering for cooking Spanish food. He was insistent that we go to B&N to get a Spanish cookbook that he'd read about so that he could cook some Spanish food that night. We went, we bought. We started home.

At this point, the plan is to have Husband drop me off at the house so I could get the kitchen ready for cooking (there were, and still are, some dirty dishes that need to be cleaned) while he went to the regular grocery to get the other ingredients he would need.

Then Husband told me to pick out recipes. So I did. Then Husband decides that we should go to the grocery before going home. This is where things started taking a turn for the worse. I'm not good with changed plans. Especially if I'm looking forward to the original plan. And most especially if I'm hungry and tired, which I was.

All this to say, by the time we finally got home, we were tired, very hungry and very cranky. All food went in the fridge and we ordered pizza rolls. :(

The lesson we both learned is that we need to plan our food shopping and preparation better. We need to make a menu plan. I've resisted this in the past. I couldn't possibly expect myself to know on Saturday what I would want to eat on Thursday. However, as we have gotten better a preparing food, there are certain dishes that we know we will like at anytime. So I think we are ready for this. I may start doing menu plan Fridays, much like CheeseSlave's menu plan Mondays, just without the cute alliteration. Wish me luck!

On the exercise front, I did 30 crunches this morning. Yeah for me! I'm going do another 30 this evening.

TTC Update, TWW

The clomid worked. I had two large follicles, one on my left measuring 29 and one on my right measuring 19. I was instructed to start doing ovulation tests immediately and to call to schedule the IUI when I get a positive. This was Thursday. Dr. Physician even said he would not be surprised if I got a positive that night. I did not get a positive either that night or the next morning. I sent an email to let them know I was not getting a surge (a surge in the luteinizing hormone or LH is what causes a positive on an ovulatory test). They scheduled me to come in on Saturday morning. I got a shot of ovidrel, which is meant to make me actually release the eggs. For some reason, my brain doesn't recognize that I have mature eggs and won't send the signal to release them.

I went in today for the IUI, which means Husband had to take care of business early this morning. His sample was fair. Not great, but not bad. I have felt like someone has punched me on either side of my uterus ever since yesterday. Slightly crampy, but not in the center. I take this to be a good sign. A sign that I'm actually popping out an egg (or two!).

We are now in ttc purgatory. We are in the two week wait (tww). This is the time when I get to obsess over every change in my body. Joy!

I want to take this time to note all the ways in which I have grown and matured through this process.

1. I no longer compulsively read pregnancy/birth/infant books. This is a huge step and a healthy one. I packed them all up in a box and put them in the attic. I'll take them out once we are pregnant, though friends have assured me that they are less interesting once you are actually pregnant. We will see.
   
   
2. I pee on far fewer tests than I used to. This might be because I'm really tired of the negatives. But I'm going to attribute it to my incredible will power.
   
   
3. My experience with infertility has pushed me to learn a lot about nutrition that I otherwise may not have known. It is also forcing me to re-evaluate my overall health. This is something that may end up preventing disease in the future.
   
   
4. Infertility has also pointed me to God. It's forced me to realize I'm not in control. Just because I forecast an event in my budget, doesn't mean it's going to happen. I know, it surprised me too. God's plan is better than mine.
   
   
5. I squeeze my breasts a lot less. I used to obsess so much over breast tenderness that I was constantly groping myself (not in public or at least not in public where people could see me). In fact, I think I was squeezing them so much I may have been making them sore. Ah, the joys of the two week wait.
   

Raw Milk Verdict

I was able to procure some raw milk last Thursday and have been drinking it every day for a week. It does taste a little different from the low-temp pasteurized milk I had been drinking, but it didn't have a bad taste. Just different. It's not as sweet. Anyway, after giving my taste buds a week to adjust, I now love it just as much as I loved my low-temp pasteurized milk.

So there's one of my New Year's Nourishing resolutions done. Yeah!

TTC Update

I just realized I hadn't posted the results of Husband's test! You know, the one that will determine whether or now we can do an IUI cycle. The test came back positive. His numbers were up. Yeah! Go Husband! Way to... uh.. never mind.

I go in tomorrow to see if the clomid is working.

Making my own face cream

I was intrigued by this post on Wholly by Grace in which Amanda has a recipe for making your own facial cream cleanser. Since I am on a quest to simplify and detox my life, I thought I'd give this a try. I discussed this with my aesthetician (she does my touch-ups and facials), she thought it was a good idea and recommended the carrier and essential oils to use for my skin type. I was able to buy most everything at Mountain Rose Herbs except for the beeswax. They were out. I bought the emulsifying wax instead. Of course the day after I placed my order, I got the email saying the beeswax was back in stock. Argh!

Anyway. Here is me making my own facial cream cleanser:

1. The ingredients
   
   • borax
   • emulsifying wax
   • grapeseed oil (used for 70% of carrier oil)
   • rosehip oil (used for 30% of carrier oil)
   • tea tree oil
   
2. I have added the 1/4 teaspoon of borax to 1/2 cup of water. No picture. It looks like 1/2 cup of water.
3. Then I put the tea tree oil into the other measuring cup and add the grapeseed oil, then the rosehip oil (you could use 1/2 cup of just one carrier oil)
   
   
4. Next I add the 1/2 ounce of wax. You can't see it but my kitchen scale says 1/2 ounce. You can see how dirty it is.
   
5. Now I've heated the oil and wax for about a minute in the microwave to melt the wax
   
6. Next I heated the borax/water for a minute. Then I slowly poured the hot borax/water into the warm oil/wax while using my stick blender. This was tricky as my measuring cup wanted to spin. Pulsing the blender instead of letting it run helped. Husband helped with these pictures.
   
7. And here I've poured it into my beautiful cobalt blue jar.
   

I can't wait for it to cool so that I can give it a try. I can tell you, it does not smell good. Next time I think I might try some lavender or eucalyptus essential oil, just to make it smell better. My aesthetician also said coconut would be a good carrier oil, so that would smell a lot better, too.

If this works for my skin, then I spent $40 on enough ingredients to make 3-4 of those jars. That's way cheaper than buying quality cream at the spa. I tried some discount face cream once. That's not a good idea.

Coconut oil success

Regarding those aforementioned brownies, I made them from Arrowhead Mills Brownie Mix and used coconut oil instead of the vegetable oil. I also used coconut oil to grease the pans. They turned out fantastic. The texture was perfect and everyone loved them. Even my super-picky sister.

My next brownie-making adventure will be to soak the sprouted grain flour that I just bought and use that with the chocolate syrup from Wilderness family to make some brownies.

Give away at Cheeseslave!

She is giving away a copy of Cooking with Coconut Flour. This would be a great book for me if I decide to try a grain-free diet.And I can always, always use another cookbook. The bagillion that I have just aren't enough.

Birthday, Christmas and keeping the crazies at bay

We went to my parents for a combination of Christmas and my mom's birthday. For Christmas, we (my siblings and I) are going to buy my mom three stainless steal 9x13 baking pans. I found two different types that I thought looked good. One was just plain stainless steal. The other was a tri-ply stainless steal with an aluminum core for even heating. I got one of each so that she could choose which she liked better. I also bought two brownie mixes, some coconut oil and some eggs so that we could test them out. They both worked great and mom wants the cheaper version of the two. I'll keep the one she doesn't want.

We had a very enjoyable visit. It was good to spend time with my siblings. I feel very fortunate to have siblings that live close by and that I get along with. I never would have thought of us as a close-knit family, but we really are. I think being raised in the kind of isolation that is experienced in rural Texas forced us to form bonds that would not have been formed if we'd had options to play with other kids in the neighborhood.

The crazies have tried to make an appearance all weekend, but I've fought them back. I did have anxiety dreams about work. I have something I need to get completed early tomorrow morning that is causing some stress for me. It's in an area that is not my strong suit. I should have just worked late on Friday to complete it so that I could have enjoyed my weekend stress free. I hate stress and anxiety.

This week, the big agenda is exercise. I'm not getting enough. Okay, fine! I'm not getting any. I'm going to plan this one day at a time. That way I won't feel overwhelmed. The plan for tomorrow is Kung Fu at 6:30pm. Send me lots of encouragement. I need it.

The crazies

This is what I get when I'm taking clomid. For instance, Tuesday night I wanted to quit my job. As in, call my boss, tell him I'll bring him my badge and laptop and that I quit. No two weeks notice. I didn't even want to wait until the morning. I was going to go to his house. I was feeling *done* with IT work. I didn't want to fix anything for anyone ever again. I didn't want anyone to ask me why they need to delete email if they expect Outlook to open in a timely manner. I didn't want to deal with people who think their C: drive is a good place to store copious amounts of data. (Idiots. Gosh.) I just didn't feel as though I could go back. Husband was no help. He just kept playing Fall Out 3.

I was feeling trapped in a career that was never supposed to be a career. I was supposed to have babies by now and be a stay-at-home mom who homeschools, not a systems support engineer. And what if we *never* have babies. Then I'm stuck in this job for years. Husband suggested that I change fields (as he shoots a large cockroach with his gun). That's not practical. That takes time and what if we have a baby. AAAAAAck. Then I spiral down into crazy.

Reality is that I don't hate my job. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I want to tell people just how stupid they are (even though I know they aren't actually stupid. they aren't, right?) and explain things like "storage space" to them in very sarcastic terms. But mostly, I love my end users. They are nice and patient people who are brilliant in some other field that doesn't include logic or organization. There isn't a whole lot of heat coming down the pipe. I get to learn a lot at work. I get to goof off and play flash games when it's slow, or when I just need a break. My coworkers are nice and my boss is pretty darn cool.

All this to say, I have to beware the crazies. I have to make sure I don't make any life decisions while on the clomid. No career changes. No large purchases. No tatoos.

Money plan

Husband and I have burned through our savings and now have a car debt. Granted, we will have our car debt paid off by May, but that's still debt. Here are my current steps and current plans for replenishing our savings and curbing our spending appetites.

1. Instead of spending $2k on a new fridge, I spent $143 on new parts for our current fridge. We are missing some of the door storage and that is greatly impacting the amount of space we can use.
2. I'm unsubscribing from all emails that want me to buy something. For instance, I will no longer receive an email from Smith & Hawken letting me know they are having a sale, or from Amazon, or Bath and Bodyworks, the list goes on.
   
3. For Lent, we will not eat out. For the whole forty days. We will only eat what we make in our kitchen.
4. For the last two weeks of Lent, we will have no-spend weeks. Very much like what Simple Natural Nourishing did for the last two months of last year. You can read about it on her blog. We will only pay for gas and any bills that are due during the last two weeks.
   

TTC Update, Waiting

I had my baseline sonogram to make sure I don't have any cysts on my ovaries. All clear! No cysts! That means I can start clomid so that I will pop out at least one egg. Husband has done another test, but we won't get the results until tomorrow. That test is what will determine whether or not we are likely to get pregnant from IUI.

I have to remind myself on a regular basis that God has a plan for us, and that plan is better than anything we could've planned for ourselves. I'm learning to trust Him. It's not easy for a type-A control freak to do. I don't think I'll ever stop being disappointed when I get my period; but I don't feel crushed for days afterward. I think one day of lamentations and crying is to be expected. If anything, I have to purge those emotions that get stirred up due to the hormones.

Free Chocolate!

What could be better? I didn't win the baby lottery, but maybe I'll win the free chocolate lottery going on at Simple Natural Nourishing. But don't enter! I just want you to hope *I* win. You entering will reduce my odds.

The worst part is over

I'm feeling much better this morning. My emotional stability is back. I think most of the cramps are done with. That does mean that I got to wake up around 5:30am this morning because I couldn't sleep. I took two tylenol, read Pioneer Woman for awhile and was able to go back to sleep for an hour or two. The second time I woke, I felt much more like myself.

I'm not sure how I feel about the infertility treatments. I'm conflicted. I don't feel like they are actually fixing anything. They are a work around. I also don't like the heavy-handed manner that is used. I like to be the one making decisions. I also like to be told the why behind everything. I don't like being told, while I'm in the stirups and exposed, that my husband's sample is bad and if it doesn't get better we'll have to do IVF. That's information that can wait until after. I don't think Dr. Physician has any regard for how vulnerable a woman feels in that situation. I don't care if he's around it all day, every day. The fact of the matter is that I'm not like that all day, every day and I'm not comfortable. I think I'm going to contact my OB/GYN and ask her if there is anyone else I can see. I also want to go to a naturopath to see about getting Husband's and my hormones sorted out.

On to other things, like FOOD! I'm going to get to cooking and baking today. Here are my plans:

• Beef stew or beef vegetable soup, not sure which yet
• Lamb's liver I have to eat some liver
• Bacon egg and cheese muffins, I hope these get me to eating breakfast
  

TTC Update

If you had to pick a place for your body to give you proof positive that you are not pregnant, where would it be? Do you want to know where my body picked? At the baby shower for a friend of mine. I cried most of the way home and then cried on Husband's sweatshirt (which he was wearing) when I got home.

I'm feeling mostly better now, though writing about it is getting me a little teary-eyed again.

Damn, freaking body.

And for Pete's sake, finish SOMETHING

There's something you all should know about me. I'm a starter. I have grandiose ideas and really believe that I can do things. And I can do things. I just can't finish things. For instance, I've started a quilt that is ready to be bound to a frame and quilted, but it's sitting in my mom's house, unfinished. I have a partially sewn skirt in my closet. I've started several afghans. One I completely gave up ever finishing and unraveled. I used the yarn to practice new crochet stitches that I will never use to actually make something. I have another that is about 70% done. This is the one that I will finish this year. That is my final resolution. To finish something.

Profuse encouragement would be appreciated.

Here is a picture of the partial project. I've lost the instructions for the afghan long ago. Now I have to unravel a little to reveal the pattern before I continue. I think it's getting pretty close to finished. I might only have to do the edge. Which I've never done on an afghan before, because I never get that far.

Eating for fertility and health

As you all already know, I'm prone to making New Year's resolutions at any time during the year. But I want to be a joiner over on Nourishing Gourmet's site. So, here are my nourishing resolutions for this year so far.

But first, I'd like to pat myself on the back for what I've accomplished so far in my journey to eating real food.

1. No more diet coke (or diet croak, as Lil' Bruddr calls it). I've all but eliminated diet coke from my diet. I used to *have* to have one in the morning and one in the afternoon after lunch. Lately I get a craving for it about once a month and then I only drink about a fourth of the can before I throw it away. It just doesn't taste good anymore. In its place, I've developed a stark-raving-mad addiction to green tea. Green tea is supposed to be good for fertility, so I think this is a good thing.
2. Farmer's Market and Coop shopping. I had to step into this whole new world of shopping almost on my own. Princess Kate was kind enough to orient me in the Coop. As a result, we are eating food that is grown or raised close by and naturally. Do we pay more? Well, yes; but we are getting more for our money.
3. Severe reduction in processed foods. I'd noticed that my pantry has a lot of space in it lately. Then I realized it's because I no longer buy the foods that have an extended shelf life.
   

Okay, now for the resolutions.

1. Raw milk. Find a source for raw milk and get some. Then pass this source on to my WAPF group members.
2. More eggs. I need to incorporate more eggs, especially more raw egg yolks, into my daily diet. My moto is "Eat eggs to make eggs". Husband said that moto is fine for me, but I'd better not come up with a similar moto for him.
   
3. Ferment something. I really want to make my own sauerkraut. I have the whey, finally. I just need to do it and stop being chicken.
   
4. Kombucha and fermented drinks. Make my own kombucha and fermented drinks. I'm especially interested in the fermented stewed fruit drink that is in the Eat Fat, Lose Fat book. It's supposed to be like Dr. Pepper.
   
5. Eat more shellfish. Actually that could be stated as "eat shellfish", because more implies that we are eating some now. That's not the case.
6. Learn more. This will include studying the adrenal posts on Nourishing Gourmet's site as well as my own research.
   

That's probably enough for me this year. Best of luck to everyone!

New rule

I cannot tell you how much I want these shoes! I also cannot tell you how much I cannot afford these shoes!

I've decided that I'm not allowed to buy anymore clothes, shoes or handbags until I can fit comfortably into a size 4 again. This will greatly increase my wearable wardrobe.

Back in the groove

I went to Kung Fu class last night. I was able to get caught up on a lot of material that I had missed. I'm still behind most of the class, but at least I'm going again. Yellow belt, here I come.

Themes in my dreams

I didn't make it to Tai Chi. I got home too late after doing the grocery shopping to be able to change into my gi and get to the dojo. We did make dinner. I then went to bed at 8pm because I could not stay awake. And just in case any of you think that's a sign of pregnancy, you should know that I tested and got another "Not Pregnant". I hate those tests. I'm getting the ones with lines next time. I'd rather deduce that I'm not pregnant rather than being told by some snotty little know-it-all stick.

Anyway, I want to post about recurring themes that are in my dreams. I guess this is loosely related to me getting enough sleep, but mostly, this has nothing to do with my plates. However, this is my blog, I'll post about what I want and you can't stop me.

1. Large cats (lions, tigers, cougars, panthers, not this, but maybe this)

This is probably the longest running recurrent dream theme that I've had. They started when I was around 6 years old. I'm almost always scared of the large cat. I think this stems from a fear that I've always had of large cats. The johnson grass in the fields around our house would grow so high and dense in the summer that it would be over my head and you could not see through it. I always suspected that there was a large cat (usually african lion) hiding in that grass, waiting to pounce. Keep in mind that the only differentiation between the field and the yard in which I played, was where my Dad decided to stop mowing. Fences were for cattle, not yards. And I *knew* that Africa was a continent separated from us by a huge body of water called an ocean. But I also knew that we had African lions in zoos. And what if one escaped? Wouldn't it want to live somewhere there are slow, fat cows, tall grass and yummy little girls*? I think so.

There was also a Saturday morning movie (I don't remember the name, but if any of you know what movie I'm talking about, please tell me because I'd love to watch it again as an adult) that was something about a flood, two kids and a panther. I don't think the panther was a threat to the kids in the movie, in fact I think it was supposed to be some sort of "friend" to them. As a child, this was hard for me to believe. I thought, if a panther is trapped on floating debris with two children, one of them will be lunch. I also watched a lot of nature programming and I understood the circle of life.

If there are any dream interpreters out there, please, fill me in on what the large cats represent in my dreams. I think they represent a source of fear. Mostly because I'm scared of them.

*I'm not sure how "yummy" I would've been. I was hygiene-resistant as a child. Couple that with Texas summer and running around outside with my dog all day and you get one stinky child. Unfortunately my sister and I shared a bed, and she would refuse to sleep with me unless I bathed. What a bitch.

Ho hum

The weather matches my mood today. Overcast and drizzly. I still don't feel pregnant. And that's probably because I'm not. I'm going through my sad and disappointed phase. Each time this phase gets shorter and less severe. Each time, pregnancy seems like something that only happens to other people, like winning the lottery. How disappointed are you when you don't win the lottery? Not very, right? Because you didn't really expect to win in the first place. That's where I'm headed. And that's not a bad thing, because how happy would you be to actually win the lottery?

I *have* to go to Tai Chi tonight. I've missed for the past 3 or 4 weeks. I don't want to actually count the number of missed weeks in order to firm up that number. If I don't get back on that horse, I'll, um, I guess I'd just lay on the ground while the horse ate some grass. Sorry, I didn't really know how to end that conditional. I've been reading a lot of Pioneer Woman so the horse reference came naturally despite the fact that I don't and never have ridden horses. But y'all get the idea.

I also *have* to get some food cooked tonight. I've been eating the same two things for days now. I need variety! Problem is, I need to buy groceries! And I don't have a good window of time for that since Tai Chi is at 6:30pm. I'll see what I can work out.

New additions

I've added my reading list to the side bar. Now you can know what I'm reading and what I plan to read in the future. I've just started it. I don't have a lot of plans right now. Make suggestions.

TTC Update

Still negative. I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be.

But I'm still a little sad. It's going to be a pajama day.

TTC Update

I tested this evening and got a Not Pregnant. Thought you might want to know. I'm probably going to test again in the morning. I'm definitely experiencing some breast tenderness, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Spinning again

There's a certain plate in our house that stopped spinning, slid off its stick and has been lying on the floor for months, waiting to be spun again. Well today, we did it. That plate, is the upstairs bathroom. For those of you who do not know, Husband and I started to remodel our upstairs bathroom back in July 2007. Yes, that is about a year and a half ago. Aren't you smart. It seems we had gotten very intimidated by the tiling of the floor. Neither of us had ever done any tiling. Today Husband took the reigns and said we were going to put the tile down and if it turns out like crap, we'll throw a rug over it. I love it when he takes the reigns. It's why I married him.

My part of this job is to operate the wet saw. I was scared of it at first, but now I feel like a pro. I was able to make the cuts to go around the toilet hole. yeah! Also, the mortar that you see in the photos cleaned up nicely and easily according to Husband.

We will treat ourselves to some celebratory sushi this evening.

And so it begins...

It starts off small. Just a glimmer, a twinkle. Then it grows into something that consumes your every waking moment, and some of the not-waking moments. "What is it?" you ask. I'll tell you.

It's imaginary pregnancy symptoms. It starts when I change into my jammies, which involves removing my bra. I then run into the livingroom so that I can continue playing on the new! XBOX before Husband logs me off. I notice that the motion of my breasts against my sleep top didn't feel so good. I don't think, "oh, I shouldn't run without a bra on", or "my breasts are more sensitive right after I take off my bra". Oh no, both of those thoughts would have been wrought with reason and rationality. No, I think, "Ohmigosh, I'm pregnant." Notice there is no maybe in that thought.

Sometimes there's nothing worse than hope.

Except for the total lack of it, of course. Life is a paradox.

I'm peeing on a stick tomorrow. Okay, fine! I'll probably pee on several sticks tomorrow because I'm a sick human being who has no self control.

So this is 2009

Happy New Year, everyone! What did you do for New Years Eve? I joined in Princess Kate's tradition of eating Indian food on New Years Eve. Husband and I met Princess Kate, Mr. Princess Kate and their baby boy at one of my favorite Indian restaurants in Austin. Their baby boy is so precious and perfect that it almost hurts for me to look at him, but I *have* to look at him. all. the. time. He's so baby-cute. In fact the hostess and waiter were quite taken with them. How could they not be?

We then played a game of Pandemic very quietly so as not to wake the precious sleeping baby. I sipped some coffee. That was mistake number one. Actually, I should say that was *the* mistake. I made no other mistakes that night. We came home around 11am. I read blogs whilst Husband played Fable II until midnight. We called Husband's family to wish them a Happy New Year!, then, as any sane person who is married and over the age of 25 would do, Husband went to bed. I wish I could have joined him. I was up until about 2am reading blogs with my mind buzzing. Sleep was elusive.

I did manage to read the entirety of Pioneer Woman's homeschool blog. She homeschools in exactly the same way I envision homeschooling. It was encouraging to know that I'm not crazy; or at least, if I am, that I have company. What I am now wondering is if we would be allowed to homeschool foster children. Husband is still a no-go on the fostering but I think if he learned more about it, he might come around. He has a lot of negative pre-concieved notions. I do accept the fact that he might never come around and I might never get to foster children.

I got quite a bit done yesterday. I now have 3 quarts of beef broth in the fridge and several sorted piles of laundry that I will wash today and tomorrow (and probably the next day as well). I started cleaning out my closet. I've included some before photos. One of my wardrobe challenges is knowing what I need. I am forever buying something that I think is a "good basic piece" and then wearing it very rarely. I've culled out a lot of items that don't fit me right or that I just don't wear. I'm going to continue this process today. Once I have all the laundry clean, I'm going to re-evaluate my wardrobe. See what I have and try to decide what I don't need and what I need, if anything. Wish me luck.

The floor of my closet. Yes, this is mostly due to sloth and laziness.


And here's the top of my closet. No, I'm not a Cowboys fan; I just like that sweatshirt. It's really Husband's, but I wear it more. You should also notice my classy bare bulb with wire cage light fixture. It fits into the industrial theme of my closet.