Wednesday, December 31

It feels like a Saturday

Here I am in my comfy clothes, sipping green tea (from my new! polish pottery mug from my mother-in-law *heart*), wearing my glasses while Husband plays Fable II on the new! XBOX. I have this and the next four days off from work. It feels strange. I do have to go in and do about two hours of work in order to be prepared for Monday, but for the most part, I'm off.

I'm focusing on getting the laundry situation under control. I need to pack away a lot of clothes that I've out grown. Emotionally, I cannot get rid of them. I have to hold on to the hope that I will fit into them once again at some point. I'm banking on the slimming effects of breastfeeding.

I'm also going to get some beef broth made. I'm on a mission to see how many consecutive days in the New Year I can bring my lunch to work. I think soup is going to be a key factor in this. I loves me some veggie soup.

I finally got around to making the winter squash soup that I've posted about several times now. Amazingly, the squash was still good! It had been in the fridge for months. The soup is tasty. It's like a very slightly sweet potato soup. In fact, I think I'll have some for lunch today.

As for pregnancy. Still. not feeling it. I think I'll get to keep my body to myself for another month.

For Kaya, everyday is Saturday. And yes, I've figured out how to post pictures.

Tuesday, December 30

Still Nothing

I feel no impending pregnancy. I don't think it worked. We will have to hope Husband's sample gets better so that we can try again on my next cycle. However, it still is probably too early for me to really tell since, at most, I'm 7dpo. That's not a lot.

Friday, December 26

Merry Christmas! I'm back at work

The time with my in-laws was nice and relaxing. I'm not being sarcastic. I really like spending time with them. Unfortunately my brother-in-law has an XBOX 360. My husband is now, at this very minute, purchasing an XBOX 360. Despite all the warning bells that were going off in my head about spending money while we are trying to get pregnant (and spending a small fortune on that process alone), I agreed to the purchase. The one stipulation was that he has to stop playing WoW. He readily agreed. I want to play Viva Pinata! and Worms! I'm weak. Luckily, we got enough in Christmas gifts to pay for almost the whole shebang. Unluckily, we are still ending this month with a deficit. Oh well, I get to start again next year!

Husband and I also had a moment of stupidity on Monday night. We "had relations". The reason that was not smart is that we were doing the IUI the very next day and Husband had to produce his sample the next morning. Ooops. Dr. Physician was not happy with the sample. Now Husband has to do another sperm analysis in three weeks. That is, unless I'm pregnant. I've decided not to test until next Saturday. Which would still be on the soon side. It helps that I don't know exactly when I ovulated. That way I can't think, "well, I'm 9dpo, some women get positives this early", and then end up wasting a stick.

Monday, December 22

So maybe I'm not completely right all the time, maybe

Okay, Dr. Physician gave me a shot of ovitrel (sp?) which should force ovulation. I have one follicle measuring a whopping 25.9. We will do an IUI round tomorrow.

I'm also feeling much better. Husband has bought a book on male-to-female communication and seems to be taking the matter seriously, which goes a long ways towards making me feel loved.

I also don't feel like I will burst into tears at any moment. Yeah! Thankful for the little things...

I hate being right all the time, really I do

So, I have had no LH surge. And I'm concerned about the logical abilities of the nurses at the fertility clinic. I was told to test for a surge everyday and if I don't have a surge on Saturday, to call. Sounds simple, right? I then asked what time of day I should test. She said between noon and 3pm. So, given this information, when do you think I would call the clinic on Saturday? All of you who said between noon and 3pm, you get a gold star. Any of you still scratching your heads probably work as nurses at a fertility clinic somewhere.

The reason this is an issue is because they don't answer the phones after 11am on Saturday. So I called and listened to a very long message at the end of which they tell you to call back. You don't even get to leave a message.

I guess in the long run it doesn't really matter. Dr. Physician would've just looked at my ovaries and then prescribed provera to bring a period so that we can start over with even more clomid. The thought of this makes me want to cry every time. Luckily I'm at work right now and the inhibitions I have about crying in public are kicking in.

This didn't help last night, however, when I tried to talk to Husband about "stuff". As soon as I brought up fostering and adoption, he completely stopped responding. So between my ovaries and my husband, I feel as though I'm being backed into a childless corner.

I stressed the importance of him getting a book on how to communicate with his wife so that she doesn't feel emotionally abandoned and alone. We'll see how this advice is recieved. So far, not well.

I do want to say that on the whole, the nurses at our fertility clinic have been wonderful and most nurses everywhere are saints. I'm just venting in the paragraphs above.

Thursday, December 18

Does good mean not great? Is good bad, or good?

We had another look-see at my lazy follicles at the ends of my ovaries again yesterday. The left ovary is totally out to lunch, but I have several on the right ovary that are measuring 12 - 13. I forget what the unit of measure is, but it's small. I have one on the right ovary that is measuring 16.5. This one is hopefully half of my first child. Dr. Physician said I had good follicular response to the clomid. Husband's testosterone is slightly above normal now. We are all set for a round of IUI, given that I actually have a LH surge (ie. smiley face on an ovulation test). I get to start peeing on sticks again! And this is not compulsive behavior, but Dr. prescribed! Oh! the joy! of peeing on a stick! I have to do this between noon and 3pm, which means I now have ovualtion tests in my purse and will be peeing on sticks at work. Sadly, this is not the first time I've peed on a stick at work. I used to have a problem.

I am very excited about doing an IUI round, but I have to say, I don't think it will work. I don't know if it's my subconcious taking control and convincing my concious that it won't work in order to prevent me from freaking out, or if I'm in some sort of denial. I don't know. I'll, of course, be happy if it does; but I'm not feeling it.

On to other news. I've learned 1 - 8 sparring techniques, 1 - 5 self defense and 1 - 3 short katas in Kung Fu so far. I've been lazy this week and have not been yet. I'll go on Saturday, unless I'm having a sonogram or IUI done. I wonder if I'll get to keep learning Kung Fu when I'm pregnant. I should probably check on that.

We made it back to church! Usually, if we were to miss one Sunday, the chances of us going the next Sunday were greatly diminished. We overcame the odds! And I'm glad we did. I always have to struggle to get myself to church, but once I'm there, I can't imagine why I would want to be anywhere else.

We have the Christmas tree up and decorated! Husband did most (read: all) of the work. I'm listening to Christmas music non-stop at work. Here is a link to my Pandora Christmas station that I have custom made for myself:

Other than that, I've been learning more and more about WAPF, traditional foods and nutrition. I've also been learning more about the FDA. I don't trust them much at best and they scare me at worst. I'm definitely trying to cut out processed foods. You wouldn't know this by what I've been eating *this* week. Baby steps.

I've added a list of the blogs that I like to read for whatever reason. I mostly did this for me, so that I can keep track of what I'm reading in one place. You can use it too. The only one that I couldn't get to list is Pioneer Woman, It's a pretty awesome site.

I'm at work right now, which means I really need to get back to reading those other blogs. Oh yeah, and finish building this laptop for our VP that is in from Dublin.

Tuesday, December 9

Generic Title

My ovaries have no cysts! So I'm on the clomid. I checked with Dr. Physician again and we are a go for a round of IUI. Yeah! For those of you who may not know, IUI is the turkey baster method. My eggs, my basket, husband's stuff. This is about as sciency as I want to get with conception. I won't do anything that involves harvesting my eggs and petri dishes. It just doesn't seem right to me; which means it's definitely not right for me.

Confession time. We did not make it to church on Sunday. We tried, but were running very late and decided that we don't like to walk in that late. I'd really like to pull the old Adam-and-Eve trick and and blame this on husband, but that wouldn't be right. (even though not going was his idea) I need to step up my prayer time and try to keep myself on the spiritual track until next week. Also, I did not go to Kung Fu or Tai Chi almost all last week. I went last night and that has gotten me energized about going tonight.

So a few of my plates have started to wobble, but I'm getting them stabilized.

Let's not talk about the Christmas plate. I'm in a happy place right now.