Tuesday, May 24

Getting better

Husband and I are doing much better. I'm a very high maintenance woman and he's learning how to maintain me :)

I'm also exercising again (read: I exercised last night for the first time in 4 months). I'm going to try to do the TTapp bootcamp and workout everyday for 4 days. Yesterday was day 1.

I also learned on Friday that the thing I thought I had screwed up, I really hadn't. In fact I had fixed the data so that exceptions don't need to be made anymore. And my boss asked me for a description of all the financial work I do! This is so that he can post a job for a financial person to come and do that part of my job! I'm so very happy and excited about that. I'm not touchy-feely, but I might hug this person when they show up. Heck, I might kiss their feet.

We also made it to church on Sunday. So all around, marriage is better, work is better and spirituality is better!

Friday, May 20

Challenging and Difficult Times

These are some challenging and difficult times. I'm not making a social/political statement, but rather a personal one.

I feel like I'm struggling in my marriage, at my job and spiritually.

I firmly believe that love is a cycle. Part of that cycle is being "in love", followed by just regular love, followed by not being in love. At which point, you decide you are committed are will keep loving this person. That decision can be hard to make at times, especially when you feel like the other person doesn't love you back and isn't trying.

It's very cliche, but I know our problems stem from a lack of successful communication. Knowing the problem and knowing how to fix the problem are really two different things. We'll keep working at it and we'll end up a better couple than we were before. The getting there is the hard part.

I really need help at work. I'm overwhelmed. I only work 40 hour weeks, but that's because even if I were to work 80 hour weeks, I still wouldn't get it all done and I'd still be overwhelmed. I'm starting to find mistakes that I've made because I just don't have enough time. It's very hard to tell my boss about these. I hate it when people have a high opinion of me and then I let them down. It's very hard on my fragile psyche.

This Saturday we are going hiking and birding with my parents. I'm really looking forward to being outdoors and doing something that will hopefully take my mind off work.