During our drive back from Houston, Husband and I got into a conversation about when we should consider adoption. In the course of the conversation, Husband says that we've only been trying to get pregnant since October. This did not go over well with me. This was very hurtful. It drove home how very alone I have been in my efforts for the past two years.
Have you seen that movie Howl's Moving Castle? If you haven't, you totally should. If you have, then do you remember that scene where Howl calls on the dark spirits because his hair color got messed up? That was me, but much worse. I was in a very dark place.
Husband is, in his own words, very self-absorbed, and he doesn't like to face problems. So, at least he is aware of the root of the issue.
We worked through things. We're fine now. He's taking a more active role in trying to figure out how to fix our fertility problems. He's willing to discuss adoption. We might not be on the same page, but we're at least in the same chapter of the same book.
I don't expect him to suddenly become supportive. I'm thankful for my friends who provide a lot of support. I'm thankful that I have an independent personality that enables me to still function in a relationship where my ideas and thoughts are not considered interesting or important by the other person. I know he loves me. I'm thankful for the love.
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