Sunburn = Failure

A few plates crashed to the ground this weekend. I got slightly sunburned at the family reunion which caused me to feel like total crap most of Sunday, which caused me to not do my 45-minute run and to not go to church. I fail.

On top of which, I still have not gotten a visit from Aunt Flo. Argh! I expected her on Saturday. I broke down this morning and bought some pregnancy tests on my way to work. Negative. But, I didn't use first morning urine! Eureka, I still have some hope that I could be pregnant. However I know in the back of my mind, that that's not the case. My body just has a sick sick sense of humor. It will wait until I'm 18 days past ovulation, which is supposed to be the golden standard for pregnancy, then I'll start. And it will be one of those periods that makes me want to reach into my body and pull out my uterus Indian-Jones-in-the-Temple-of-Doom style, because that would be less painful. Joy! I'm soooo looking forward to the rest of this week.

Thank you, Network Television

I was watching network television the other night in a desperate attempt to pass the time before I could go to bed. I could find nothing worth watching. And all the commercials for future shows were for shows not worth watching. I remember a time when I could find things like character development and plots on network television. Now it's all ridiculously over-dramatized game shows, reality shows and reality game shows. This type of viewing does not appeal to me. Mostly because it sucks. I hate survivor. I hate American Idol. I've even tried to watch these and can't make it through complete episodes because of how awful it is. I know this puts me in a minority. But I honestly don't get the draw. I think there's an element to people who like to hate someone. Maybe that's what makes survivor popular. Everyone I hear talking about it always hates someone on the show. And they love to talk to others who hate the same person. I'm not into this. Some people are assholes. I get it. I'm not going to go around communally hating a particular asshole just because he or she is now on television. I guess what it boils down to is that I get a healthy dose of reality in my reality. I don't need it in my entertainment as well.

Same thing goes for the drama, suspense and gore style of entertainment. Like all the CSI's and hospital shows (except for Scrubs). If I want to be depressed and/or appalled, I'll watch network news. (Thanks FOX and CNN for reminding us on a 24-hour basis that the world is a crap hole).

So, what's the fallout of all this? I've started watching public television. A lot. As a result, I've started to care about what goes on in other countries and in our country to a greater extent. I've developed a world view. Mostly thanks to Foreign Exchange and The News Hour. When I get to work, I don't want to talk about who's been voted off what; I want to talk about voting that matters. Like, how will the elections in Zimbabwe go? Will they be free and fair? How can Zimbabwe's Ambassador to the UN, Boniface Chidyausiku, state that the elections are free and fair when there is no opposition party? My gosh, can you believe that guy?

These kinds of thoughts, sentences and vocabulary are very unlike me. Prior to the plummeting of network television I would have only vaguely known that Zimbabwe was in Africa. If you'd asked if it were a city or country, you would've stumped me.

So here I am. I feel as though I've made that final transition into adulthood. And it's all thanks to network television and how much it sucks.

Morning running

Exercising after work has not been working out for me. I'm starting to agree with my friends who say working out in the morning is good because then you don't have to worry about when you are going to work out for the rest of the day.

So, I did it. I woke up with my first alarm and went for a 30 minute jog this morning. I have to say, it wasn't bad. I feel pretty good. Morning air feels awesome. It gets up to 93F by noon here with a dewpoint of 74F. The air even seems clean and fresh in the morning, despite the fact that I'm in the city. I was able to get back to the house, showered and fed by the time that I'd normally be sitting in the rocking chair watching the news and drinking my morning drink. I even got to work earlier than normal. I did not see that coming.

In celebration of this change, I'm going to spend money. I'm going to RunTex to buy some new shoes and to Target to buy some new workout clothes. I see this as investing in my health. And I'm more likely to workout if I think I look cute.

We'll see how this continues. I'll keep you posted.

TTC update: I'm at 12 or 13 dpo (days past ovulation) and temps are still high. They even took a jump this morning. However I was hot and tossing and turning this morning as well. All tests have been negative. Even the ovulation tests that I thought were pregnancy tests.

Finance Plate

I just read this post at Remodeling this life regarding perception of finances by others. The last line of which is "So what if someone thinks your poor? They won’t think so 30 years from now when you’re retired on the beach in Panama ." I have to agree. I wish we would stop thinking that poor = bad and unhappy life. I challenge all of you to find a study that proves having more money leads to less stress and happiness. I wager that you will never find such a study. I don't know who originally said that happiness comes from wanting what you have, not having what you want. That is very true.

I would love for our friends to think that we are poor. We aren't by any stretch of the imagination. Perhaps after we have a baby and I quit my job we will be. But we aren't right now. We do save a lot (what I think is a lot) of money each month. I've started learning about investing and hope to have a few thousand in the stock market by the end of the Summer. You're supposed to buy low, right? Well, it's low right now. This does mean that we have to say "no" to our friends when it comes to certain activities. We can't eat $150 sushi dinners every week. We can't go to the movies every weekend. We can't go to concerts every month. And it's not because we can't afford to. We choose not to spend our money that way. We choose to have a healthy savings account. We choose to not have any debt. One day these won't be choices made from discipline; they will be choices made from necessity. Which means we can sleep at night knowing we are building a secure financial future for our family.

Two friends of mine recently got married and they could not be more opposite in the finance department. He is a thingsy person and likes to have the best of stuff. She is Miss Frugal. He gets mad at her for shopping at second hand stores for clothes. She kept asking him why. He finally yelled at her that she makes him feel poor. He's never been poor his whole life, so I'm not sure how he would know what it feels like. But wouldn't it be better to feel poor rather than to actually be poor? I think so.

I hope we continue to learn ways to be frugal. I hope we improve our self-discipline and learn how to eat out less and cook more. I hope we continue to be proud of how we don't spend money, even if that means others may think we are poor. I hope we can pass these values on to our children so that they will not believe the lie that money can buy happiness.

The Education of an Ignorant Woman

I don't know about you, but I have a *lot* of unwanted hair. It's always an ordeal for me anytime I want to wear shorts, much less a swimsuit. I have to decide what's more unsightly, big black wiry hairs on My upper thighs and bikini area, or red angry bumps. It's something I've been self-conscious about since my teen years. It has definitely affected my lifestyle. I don't go swimming spur-of-the-moment and rarely go swimming at all. When I do, I usually end up wearing shorts. I don't like to wear lingerie, because I don't look "sexy" with the poof. The list goes on.

Well, I decided to do something about it. I was going to get a bikini wax. Then I thought, well, why do a bikini when a Brazilian seems to drive men crazy and it's just a narrower strip of hair. Right? Wrong. So. Very. Wrong. Considering how giddy and distracted my husband was, I should've known I was mistaken. Considering that the esthetician (girl who did the hair removing) asked me to remove my underwear, also, should've at least led me to ask a question.

But, no. I didn't really get what was going on until a large chunk of hair had been removed from my labia. By then it was too late. And she didn't stop there. Apparently there was hair on my INNER labia that had to go as well. That, also, was not enough for this perfectionista sadist. She then asked me to put my knees up to my chest. I naively thought, oh, maybe this helps to dull the pain. Wrong Again! It was so that she could get to my asshole! "Don't worry," she said, "this part never hurts as much as people think it will." Sadist that she is, she is not a liar. It didn't hurt as bad as the labia and whatever you call the area immediately surrounding the vagina.

So, for the good of all women out there. Here is what I learned.

• A brazilian is EVERYTHING. You will look prepubescent afterwards. Think how you were at eight.
• DO NOT USE WAX! I was sugared, and I honestly believe the process would've been a hell of a lot worse with wax. I've had my legs waxed before. I didn't have nearly the angry skin reaction with the sugaring that I do with wax.
  
• You will bleed. But, according to the esthetician, that's a sign that the follicles are being damaged and will be less likely to produce more hair. Yeah for bleeding!
  
• Baby powder is your friend. She used a lot of cornstarch (no talcum) baby powder and suggested that I continue to use it to keep the area dry. Especially when I workout. Which I haven't done since the removal. Today will be the day.
• When booking your appointment, ask if they have any numbing cream you can use. If they don't, find a different spa. If they do, go in the day before and buy the cream. Ask them how you should use it. Don't assume the instructions on the tube are good enough.
  
• Take some Ibuprofen prior to your appointment. This was a tip from a friend of mine who has been having these done for awhile.
• Wear a skirt to your appointment. You will not want to wear jeans or pants after.
  
• Expect the most mind-blowing pain ever. Imagine what it would be like to have the skin removed in that area instead of just the hair. There will be a tearing noise.
  

When I got home, my husband looked like a schoolboy who had just learned he was getting an XBOX 360. In a sense, he was getting a whole new thing that he can play with and have hours of fun. I told him there would be no action for at least a day. He asked if it was all red "down there." I said yes it was, but for all I know that's normal. I hadn't seen "down there" for close to twenty years.

Here are a few of the things I've noticed since having it done:

• Baby powder is your friend.
  
• Farting feels very different, I can't quietly sqeeze them out like I used to and they are much louder. Apparently hair has some sound dampening qualities. This may lead to some embarrassing moments today at work. I'll keep you posted.
  
• Sex feels different. Different good.

I have scheduled my "touch up" appointment three weeks out. Supposedly they get easier and less painful. I have a feeling it's like the difference between cutting off your whole hand vs. a finger. It's still going to hurt. a lot.

Happy Sunday!

It's Sunday morning, about 45 minutes before we need to head out for Presbyterian church. So, I think this is an appropriate time to talk about my faith plate.

I am a Christian. Okay, all you Christian-haters, stop rolling your eyes and groaning. I'm not a member of the religious right, I'm just a Christian. I'm considering using this blog to debunk some of the prevalent concepts of Christianity that are inaccurate and downright false. I will admit that there is a certain type of "Christian" out there that I'm not so fond of either. It's kind of like how my friend T.Lo. feels about "vegetarians" who eat fish. "That's not vegetarianism!" she will scream in indignation. When I ask her why it bothers her so much. She will explain to me that people who promote the idea that vegetarians eat fish make life harder for people like her who are actual vegetarians. She'll be sipping on some soup and hear, "Yeah, it's vegetarian. I used fish broth." At which point she realizes why she's been wanting to gag.

The same thing happens in Chrstianity. Someone who is uneducated; who has an immature faith, will promote a view or idea as though it is Christian. When, in fact, it is not. "That's not Christianity!" I yell. For instance, the bible does say that women shouldn't braid their hair. Hmmm. Does that mean that I'm a sinner and going to hell if I braid my hair? No. I am a sinner, but not because I braid my hair. The passage that contains that verse is talking about modesty. What we should take away from it is that Christian women shouldn't dress like whores.

If anyone ever starts reading my blog, I'm sure there will be a lot of controversy (which I hate) surrounding a lot of what I say here. But I guess that is part of discussing ideas whether they be religious or otherwise. I do want to stress, however, that I'm not interested in trying to convince you or anyone else to be a Christian. I just want to make sure Christians and non-Christians alike aren't mistaken about what Christianity is. The first step towards tolerance and diversity is understanding and open-minds.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Still spinning

I hope my lack of posting is recognized as evidence that I've been spinning other plates. The blog plate almost hit the floor. But here I am! I'm back!

Anyway. I have the joy and pleasure of frequently visiting with two sets of friends who recently won at the let's-make-a-baby lottery. Their little bundles are now rounding out and looking more like the Gerber baby and less like a cross between a shrunken, shriveled old man and an alien. It's strange how that combination can tug at your heart strings so much. I myself am in ttc (trying to conceive) purgatory, a.k.a. the two week wait. This means my body has finally managed to eke out an egg and now we have to wait and see.

Moving on...

I think my Little Trainer Girl is trying to kill me. We workout together twice a week and every time I feel so exhausted after that I'd probably be safer driving home if I drank a six pack and were missing an eye. There's nothing like bunny hopping through an intersection because your legs lack the muscle control to let the clutch out slowly. Those of you who don't know what I mean, try learning to drive a stick and you will find out. However, the exercise plate is spinning just fine :)

I'm the spinner

Hello world!

I don't spin plates. Not in the actual plates-spinning-on-sticks way. My plates are things like, my job, my career (yes, these are distinctly separate), my marriage, my faith, my current family, my future family, my dogs, my house, my friends, my health, etc. You get the idea. I hope.

I haven't found a good balance for keeping all these things going at the same time. Sometimes I spin my friends, and my dogs and house plates start to wobble. Or I focus on my marriage and my faith plates, and my house plate clatters to the ground (Luckily some of my plates are melamine, so even when they drop, I pick them up and get back to spinning). Some plates have a higher priority than others. Some plates I spin because I know I have to, not because I want to, the health plate, for instance. Some plates I'm still trying to choose, like the career plate. Some plates I don't even have yet, like the baby plate.

So that's what this blog will be about. How I try to keep my plates spinning by learning how to mix balance and motion, which plates I should let fall, which to smash against a wall and which I should let someone else spin for me. I'd love advice and encouragement from all you spinners out there.