Remembering when

For my anniversary, I got a french manicure because Husband really likes the way they look and that's what I had for our wedding. I also like the way they look and decided to see if there instructions on how to do it yourself on the interweb. Sure enough, there were, in video format no less. There was also this video on waxing and sugaring hair removal.

In this video the lady states that the only thing she can see really going wrong with a home waxing is burning yourself. All I can say is this lady has clearly never been me. Because if she had been me, she would know there is *so* *much* *more* that could go wrong with a home wax. Especially if you have never had a professional wax done. And especially if you try to do your bikini area first. And double-especially if you live with a curious cat.

[insert some flashback waviness here]

This is the stage on which I tried to perform my first home wax. On my bikini area. There I was. Sitting on a blanket in the middle of my one bedroom apartment, my legs in a perfect butterfly. I was a lot more flexible then. Very hesitatingly shmearing warmish wax on my very delicate area. Hmmm. The warm feels nice. But how much? Too thick and all the wax won't pull off. Too thin and it won't pull off at all. I was using the stripless kind of wax. Which was mistake #281 in this ill-fated home waxing. While I'm trying to figure this out, my curious cat wants very badly to sit in my lap. Because why else would I be sitting on the floor unless I wanted him in my lap. I had a paranoia of my cat getting stuck to my bikini area because he rub against my "lap" right when the wax was reaching critical coolness. How do you really explain that at the ER?

Needless to say, this doubt, inexperience and cat-stuck-to-crotch paranoia caused me to be less than focused on what was happening on my very sensitive area. What was happening was that the wax very rapidly cooled because I had not warmed it enough in the first place. (Apparently I had believed that the worst thing I could do was burn myself. It's on the pamphlet!) Well, I had also used much too much wax. I had also not trimmed anything, mistake #564. So I now had a very very hard peice of wax anchored to my delicate area by a mass of hair, at the ends of which are nerves. Many nerves. That communicate pain.

I spent the next hour rubbing baby oil into the edges of the wax, lifting the edge enough to get my small trimming scissors (yes! I had them!) underneath to snip hairs. This process? HURT. I was left with an odd snipped area that was also bruised from the pulling. I then took a shower, nearly fell because baby oil makes showers *slippery*. Then sat in my rocking chair, petting my cat and practicing some self-soothing.